


cold

by SunflowerEnthusiast



Category: A3! (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, I tried writing gekkagumi angst, Keyword: Tried
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-18
Updated: 2020-10-18
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:20:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27081070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SunflowerEnthusiast/pseuds/SunflowerEnthusiast
Summary: Chikage has a dream about December and Hisoka.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 16





	cold

Somewhere in the distance, there’s a clock ticking the seconds by.

A snowy landscape spreads out before Chikage’s eyes, and not a thing is in sight save for the mounds of snow. Above his head, snowflakes fall relentlessly, and soon, his shoulders are covered in a thin layer of snow. Yet, strangely enough, he doesn’t feel cold at all.

Considering he knows that he fell asleep in his own bed, he understands that this is a dream. However, he’s never been the type to have realistic dreams like this. In the first place, he usually doesn’t remember dreaming at all by the time he wakes up, and the only “dreams” that he remembers are the nightmares he had after August died. All in all, this is an unusual situation for Chikage, because his consciousness, as far as he can tell, doesn’t “dream” much.

“… April?”

A nostalgic name called by a familiar voice. Chikage turns to his side and finds—

“… December?”

That’s the only name that comes to mind when Chikage lays eyes on the man standing next to him.

Before him is a relatively short man, whose white hair blends in with the snow around him. Unlike when Chikage saw “him” this evening, his hair is shorter, short enough to not cover his right eye. His mismatched eyes peer up at Chikage in bemusement as he wraps his arms around his thin frame, shivering a little. That’s odd; Chikage doesn’t feel cold at all, though… “April, right? Why are you wearing glasses?” December asks, clearly confused. “I thought that you had perfect vision. And what’s with that get-up? Are you going undercover somewhere soon?”

“This” is clearly December from a few years ago. It’s been a while since his right eye has been out in the open to be seen, and seeing it again just reminds Chikage of how odd it is. December never really liked to talk about it, so Chikage still isn’t sure if it’s discolored from some kind of past eye disease, or if he just has heterochromia. Either option is viable, especially considering December was an orphan from basically birth to when August picked him up. If he got sick during that time period, that wouldn’t surprise Chikage. Though, in that case, it’d be amazing that he still has that eye intact.

Chikage glances down at his clothes, but he’s just wearing his usual outfit of a turtleneck and a jacket. More proof that this is a dream, since he was wearing his sweats when he went to sleep. Well, the man before him is all the proof he needs to know that this isn’t real, though.

While Chikage knows that this is a dream, he isn’t sure what to tell December as an excuse, so he decides to play along. “Yeah, I’m leaving to go undercover soon,” Chikage answers, earning an uninterested hum from December. Despite knowing that this isn’t real, Chikage feels a twinge of annoyance. December could at least act like he cares.

“Hmm. Well, while you’re gone, I’ll hold down the fort with August.”

Chikage’s eyes widen for a split second, but he forces his expression back to neutral before December notices.

… Right. In this December’s mind, August is still alive.

_… I’m envious. I wish I could go back to those days, too._

Chikage will never regret meeting everyone in MANKAI Company, but at the same time, he would be lying if he said that a part of him didn’t wish to go back to when August was still alive and he, December, and Chikage—April—lived together. But he knows that that isn’t possible, and he still enjoys his life now. Even if there’s a part of him that wants to go back, there’s also a part of him that doesn’t want to leave his current life behind.

And maybe that’s the most surprising, considering how important August has been to him for all these years.

Still… Thinking about this won’t change a thing.

August will still be dead. And “December” and “April”…

December is still shivering, and he gets distracted as he zips up his jacket, trying to keep himself warm. Chikage is debating about handing him his own jacket since he looks so cold, but at that moment, someone calls out to him.

“Chikage?”

Chikage blinks in surprise, staring at December, who’s still too busy with warming himself up to notice his stare. Besides, he shouldn’t know that name…

Chikage turns to his other side and finds “Mikage Hisoka” standing there, looking up at him in surprise. Hisoka looks just like the Hisoka Chikage saw this evening—same long jacket, same bangs covering his face.

But why is Chikage seeing him when December is standing right next to him?

Hisoka doesn’t seem to notice December at all, and he tilts his head. Chikage notices that he’s shivering a little, too. “I thought you were supposed to be on a business trip, Chikage? What are you doing here?”

Well, Chikage obviously isn’t on a business trip right now, but this Hisoka seems to think so. In that case, he has no idea exactly what day this Hisoka thinks it is, but this is a just a dream, so it doesn’t matter. You’d think either December or Hisoka would ask him why they’re in the middle of a near-snowstorm… Not that Chikage himself knows the reason, though.

Deciding that it would be too tiresome to find a different answer, Chikage just says, “I came home early.”

Hisoka seems to decide that he doesn’t want to ask for details, and he just hums, much like December did. Chikage feels yet another twinge of annoyance. He supposes a few years doesn’t change Hisoka’s uninterest in him. Hisoka instead eyes Chikage’s jacket enviously. “I’m surprised you aren’t shivering. It’s so cold,” Hisoka grumbles, pulling his jacket tightly around his body. Chikage frowns. Maybe it’s because he’s the one who’s dreaming that he doesn’t feel the effects of the weather around him? Whatever the reason is, discussing it with Hisoka isn’t going to bear any fruit. He’d probably just be confused.

Chikage sighs. “Maybe if you ate something that wasn’t marshmallows, your body would be healthier, and you’d be able to withstand the cold,” Chikage smirks, poking fun at Hisoka.

Hisoka sends him a sour glare. “Then I guess the reason why you’re not cold at all is because you eat super spicy foods. They must’ve raised your body temperature unnaturally high. Are you sure _you_ shouldn’t try eating something else?” Hisoka retorts without missing a beat.

Chikage glares right back at him. “It wouldn’t have that effect on me. In the first place—”

Before Chikage can send another (vocal) jab at him, Hisoka’s knees suddenly buckle, and he falls into the snow piled under them. Chikage’s eyes widen in surprise, and he tries to move forward to grab Hisoka’s arm, but he can’t move his feet. Chikage quickly glances down and notices that the snow’s piled up around his legs, locking his feet below the thick powder. Chikage curses, trying to move his feet, but no matter how much he struggles, he can’t. The snow shouldn’t be thick enough to prevent him from breaking out of it… Is it because this is a dream?

Chikage looks back to Hisoka, who’s staring at Chikage helplessly. “Chikage… It’s cold…” His voice is barely a whisper. The snow around Hisoka is piling up, and he’s shivering violently. It looks like he’s lost feeling in his legs and can’t get back up. Chikage curses again. Even though he tries to remind himself that this is just a dream, he can’t help but feel anxious at the sight of Hisoka drowning in all of that snow.

But the distance between them isn’t that big. If Chikage just leans over as much as he can, maybe he can grab one of Hisoka’s arms—

“April, help!”

_Fuck._

Chikage forgot that December was next to him, too.

He whips around and is greeted with the sight of December already half buried in snow, stretching an arm out to Chikage. His expression is desperate as he tries to reach Chikage. “Help… I don’t want to be cold anymore…” He whispers, tears gathering in his eyes.

And Chikage remembers. When April and August first found December, he was freezing to death on the streets. He was an orphan, so he had nowhere to go. Who knows how many days December went, cold and hungry and just wanting to find someplace to belong.

Chikage’s heart feels like it’s being squeezed in a death grip.

_This is just a dream._

Chikage can probably reach both Hisoka and December, but he can only save one of them. Because he has to lean over to grab them, he won’t be able to save the one on his other side.

_They’re the same person._

But right now, they’re split into two. Technically, it would be wiser to save Hisoka, because he’s the one that’s closest to the real Hisoka, but that would mean turning his back on December. No matter how troublesome December was, Chikage—April— _he_ would save him, no matter what. They may not have always gotten along, but December was—and is—still family. He wouldn’t turn his back on December.

_This isn’t real._

But it feels too real.

“Chikage…”

“April…”

Chikage grits his teeth. He has to make his decision—both of them are nearly covered in snow.

_Please… Please just let me wake up._

Chikage reaches out his arm—

And the ticking of the clock finally stops.

Chikage jolts awake, eyes wide and pulse racing as he quickly sits up and scans his surroundings. He lets out a sigh of relief at the familiar ceiling and walls of his room in the dorms, and he glances over at his roommate to make sure he didn’t wake him up. Luckily, Itaru’s still fast asleep, oblivious to Chikage’s state of disarray.

Chikage sighs. Of all things to dream about…

_That was just as bad as my nightmares about August._

But it’s fine. It was just a nightmare. Right about now, Hisoka should be sleeping peacefully in his room or somewhere else, having pleasant dreams of marshmallows.

The thought brings a tired, exasperated smile to Chikage’s face. Right, Hisoka is fine. He’s warm, happy, and in a place where he has plenty of people who care about him. He’s no longer the lonely orphan Chikage met all those years ago.

Chikage lies back down, exhaling slowly. He probably won’t be able to go back to sleep after that, but he’ll lie down for a while since he still feels tired. He closes his eyes, trying not to think about the looks of despair that were aimed at him just moments ago.

The nightmare ended before Chikage could reach out to one of them, but…

He remembers who he was going to reach for. Which in turn means he also knows which one of them he was, essentially, killing.

A chill runs down his spine.

Even if it was just a nightmare and it could never happen in reality, when he thinks about which one of them he was willing to give up and let die, he—

He digs his nails into his palms so hard that if they were any longer, he would be bleeding.

_It was just a nightmare._

But he was still going to let (——) die.

**Author's Note:**

> happy one year anniversary scarlet mirror
> 
> I wrote this immediately after reading the event story the day it came out, and I was listening to scarlet game the entire time, which is where the weird clock stuff comes in. if you listen closely, there are parts of the song where you can hear a clock ticking, and if you watch the play, there's an antique clock... in holmes's place? I can't remember. anyway the idea is that so long as the clock is ticking, chikage's stuck in the world of snow
> 
> this fic doesn't make sense. it's not supposed to make sense, but I feel like I didn't even hit the original meaning I was going for, of the implications it means depending on which one chikage saved... anyway. I don't think it's that good since it kinda missed the mark, but I figured I might as well as dig it out of my drafts for scarlet mirror's anniversary


End file.
